PB&J

Once upon a time, there was a boy. 
Let's call him, "Beautiful."

There was also a girl. 
Let's call her, "Priceless."

Aside from each others company, and the additional children in the orphanage, Beautiful and Priceless were all alone. Abandoned by their parents, they were forced to put their brokenness into the hands of dispassionate caretakers.

Each day, uncertain. 

Each moment lacking in the security that every child needs to snuggle deep into childhood's innocent embrace. 

No rain to dance in.

No hot cookies to munch on after school.

No parents to sing lullabies.

No tucking in, picking up, swinging around, holding hands, or wrestling matches.

No Play Dough.

No new pink dresses, or toy cars to zoom...zoom...zoom!

Until, one day...

...when Compassion walked into their lives. With only one look, Compassion knew, in full, why she had traveled this far. It was for these children. She had no idea what God's plan was, or how she could help two children who were not adoptable because of a law in their country. 

She just knew that God had melted her heart right into theirs. 

That was enough. 

One beautiful, healing moment after another, Compassion finally had to return home.

Home.

How can you have a home in two places? Yet, this is what she had! How could she leave these children? They needed her, and she needed them!
She would be back.

Yes, little ones, 

she would be back. 

Until then, she would keep track and send whatever they needed, no matter the cost. Compassion knew that her God was big enough to provide whatever these children needed. She would come back the minute time would allow...

...not a second's delay.

While Compassion was thousands of miles away, the cold fingers of uncertainty grabbed hold of Beautiful and Priceless. They were whisked off into the unknown. 

 

No warning. 

No map to follow. 

Gone.

Compassion had to fight her way through darkness. 

Her God went before her, and gave her direction.

An arrow on the map.

A glimmer of hope.

Were her children truly there?

Were they safe?

Compassion found out that the children had been moved twelve hours away from where she had spent those bittersweet days.
This would not be an easy trip...

...but...

Compassion's God is so big, that He gave her wings to fly.

A miracle.

An airplane

that seemed to appear out of nowhere, 

ready for her use, 

as soon as she was back in the children's country.

Right now, Compassion is packing her bags, planing to fly back into the arms of Beautiful and Priceless.

She has no idea if they are really where that arrow is pointing.

No idea if the compass is broken.

Will she find that airplane waiting?

Is she crazy to dream, even for a moment, that she will embrace Beautiful and Priceless again?

Compassion knows her God is big enough, despite her fears.

She knows that, when her faith trembles, God will hold her steady.

She knows that now is the time for battle.

Warriors are being called in, because this is no Fairy Tale...

...this is Real Life.

This is the battle in which she and I are calling in forces of Prayer Warriors.

There are sensitive details that I cannot share, so I hope you don't mind my "Fairy Tale" version. The story is true, but the names are made-up. I can share "Compassion's" name: Jaime.

She is a co-founder of "Delivering Hope."

 

Though I have given Priceless and Beautiful fictional names, their real names do begin with "P" and "B." Since I cannot post a pic of them here, I wanted to leave you with this acronym/pic:

PB&J

"Priceless"

(In danger of human trafficking.)

*

"Beautiful"

(In danger of begging on the streets.)

*

 &

"Jesus"

(Their Protector)

Cheering you on with victory in Jesus,

Layla

Commercial Break

Today's commercial break is brought to you by: Generic Benedryl.

It is effective in fighting severe allergy attacks AND punctual blog updates.

Please stay tuned for the conclusion of this week's posts.

(Post should be up before midnight, Central Standard Time.)

Cheering you on & checking the fuel guage,

Layla

I Don't Want to Change the World

Yep, that's right, I don't want to change a thing.

My original plan was to contain this week's heavier topic into two parts, ending it on Wednesday.  Please indulge me, as I feel compelled to share what has been on my heart today, thus turning it into three parts.

 God doesn't need me to change the world. He doesn't need me for anything.

He wants me.

This is beyond humbling. If I were to die this very moment, the world would continue to turn. The breeze would continue to blow. There would be others to pick up where I left off. So...

 Why should He bother with me?

My faith is weak. My body is weak. I mess up BIG time, ALL the time. I don't listen when I should, and I don't speak up when I should. I have pity parties, and I have selfish moments. 

Yet, He desires to be with me.

He isn't calling me to pray because He cannot work without my voice. He isn't rendered speechless when I am.

Even so, I am commanded to pray without ceasing.

If you are a child of Kind Jesus, then you are commanded to do the same thing. Why??? He LOVES to be with you, chat with you, cry with you, hurt with you, teach through you, and experience your expressions of joy over every good and perfect gift.

He is the Father of the heavenly lights.

You and I are made in His image!

If we are His, then He cannot hate himself. He looks at us, and He sees REDEMPTION. His ear bends to hear us. He longs for us to come to Him with all things, before we seek anyone else.

He does not need us to change the world.

He alone can do that.

 Jesus invites us to be involved in His miracles. Miracles that will bring healing to this land. We get to be HIS hands and feet! He calls us to love, laugh, cry, provide, rescue, protect, adopt, embrace, and endure.

Humbling.

When those lies start creeping in, and you feel them whispering about how small your faith is, how weak you are, or that you must be kidding yourself:
 

"Why on earth would He continue to love and use me?"

Remember:

 "Here is a trustworthy saying:

If we died with Him,

we will also live with Him;

If we endure,

we will also reign with Him.

If we disown Him,

He will disown us;

If we are faithless,

He remains faithful,

for He cannot disown Himself."

(2 Timothy 2:11-13)

Did you catch that last part? If we are faithless, HE remains faithful! It is not to our glory, but to His!

Nope, I don't want to change the world. 

I'd mess it up BIG TIME.

I do want to walk with my Daddy, and be a part of what HE is doing through me...

...and through you.

Cheering you on & checking the fuel gauge,

Layla

Ready for Battle?

I was recently nominated for the "Funniest Homeschool Blog." While I am crazy excited to be nominated (especially for that category), I just want you to know that...

I will occasionally bleed onto this screen.

I don't always want to be a box of powdered sugar,  when the world is in need of salt.

As a homeschool mom with a chronic illness, I have been asking God a lot of questions over the years. Some of these seemingly big questions are, "How can I go into all the world, when I barely make it through the day? How can I reach out to the poor, the widow, and the orphan, when I cannot get the vaccines to travel to the countries that need help the most? Why do I have a heart for adoption, and an illness that will not allow the stamina for more children? How can any homeschool mom, who spends most of her days teaching, cooking, and cleaning, really make a LASTING impact in this world, right now...

...during this season of her life?"

Oh, how He sweetly answers in His time! 

He keeps whispering into my ear, "Pray." 

This is the one thing that I know is the hardest for me to do. The one thing that I can find the most excuses not to do.

And yet, it is

the one thing that my heart screams for the loudest:

HIM.

Oh, I pray throughout the day. I pray when someone crosses my mind, my family needs it, or I read a Facebook status/text/email asking for prayer. I shoot prayer arrows, while folding laundry, cooking, or driving. The kids and I pray during Bible Time. But what I lack is that beautiful, holy communion of conversation with my Father. That place of sacred ground, where I lock my heart with His, giving HIM intentional moments entirely.

A purposed moment.

When I do fold inside this prayerful place, I feel Him calling me into a ministry of prayer. Prayer sounds too simple to be a ministry. It seems to me like the easy way out. Yet, if I am completely honest, it is harder for me to settle down and listen, than to work. Even if that means working until I make myself sick. When I am sick, I am practically useless.

Do you see the lies I have swallowed?

"Work harder."

"Prayer is not an effective ministry in itself."

There will be times for me to serve with my hands and feet, as that is Christ's calling for all of His children. I do, however, believe that the biggest wars are going to be fought on my knees. I have to hear Him to follow Him.

How about you? 

Do you have similar thoughts, struggles, and questions?

Are you ready for battle?

If so, I invite you to join me in fighting a specific battle. If you are a child of King Jesus, then you are prepared for this battle. If you don't know Him yet, please email me: layla@paytonlink.com.

I'd love to tell you about my Daddy.
He wants to be your Daddy too.

Please come back Wednesday,

and bring your armor.

You'll need it.

"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
(Matt. 18:20)

Cheering you on & checking the fuel gauge,

Layla

It's My Birfday!

Yep, it's my birfday, and I want to give YOU a present!

Here's how it works:

One lucky duck will receive a personalized bookmark from...

(((Drum Roll))) 

Elizabeth Engelhardt Creations!!!

WOO HOO!!!

 I will be using a random number generator from Random.com to choose the winner for me.

Elizabeth is happy to make a bookmark for a girl OR a guy!

Winner to be announced by 5 P.M. Central Standard Time, today.

After the winner is announced, they will need to email me their address:

layla@paytonlink.com

The Winner Winner Chicken Dinner will also need to include a description of what type of design/wording/style/color they would like on their wildest-dreams-come-true bookmark.

Here is what mine looks like:

Cute, huh?

I asked for a "surprise" design.

She knows me well. ;)

Have fun & PaRtY!!!

Cheering you on & checking the fuel gauge,

Layla

Triple Feature

If my current life happenings were a drama, they would be a triple feature in a theater with sandwich seats. You know, the cheap seats that fold up and nearly eject you into oblivion? Also, I'm pretty sure that my car in this Game of Life is double parked. I hope the theater's cops aren't patrolling at these hours.

You might say that things have been a bit...

insane.

I cordially invite you to the screening of my home school life triple feature, through pictures and captions. (Don't you feel special?) I just hope I don't get a ticket for being double parked, as I need that money for some Happy Pills. (Just kidding...maybe.)

MY BIG FAT CRAZY HOME SCHOOL LIFE

(Opening scene: Payton Family Home/ Sunday, Oct. 31, 2011)

I was nauseous. 

Queezy. 

Phenergan was the only thing that kept me from upchucking like a woodchuck named Chuck, chucking wood, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

It was bad. Not pretty at all. 
Worse than the above joke! 

So, I will begin with an opening shot of

my adorable cats.

(Act 1 - Setting: In-Law's Home, Monday, Oct. 31, 2011)

Enter: Dr. Evil.

A.K.A.

"The Sore Throat."

(Complete with blisters. Yuck.)

(Act 2: The Payton House, Nov. 1-6, 2011)

  

My mom spent most of last week with us, cooking up a storm. I was still unable to eat solid foods, but she was determined to get some homemade goodness into me. One of the things that she baked was this lasagne. We tossed my portion into the food processor. It was delicious!

I swear this lasagna had magical powers.

Enter: THE Manic Monday

(Act 3: Settings: The Payton House, and Children's Hospital, Nov. 7, 2011)

This is week #10 of my liquid/baby food diet. Yesterday, I still had the evil sore throat. I also had an abundance of rare energy that I attribute to that lasagna. I was feeling positive. I had plans. Tate had mentioned that his throat was getting sore, and he felt a bit warm. I suspected that he had caught my virus, so I decided to take the day off of school, clean the house, and have everything perfectly in order for Tuesday. Yes...I had plans. I was tying on my super cape, and feeling in control...

BIG MISTAKE.

All of a sudden, I couldn't find Tate. I had literally just had a snuggle-time conversation with him five minutes before he went missing. I knew that something was wrong. It was that freaky sixth sense feeling that all moms have. I looked through every room, hoping that he was hiding from me...being silly.

I found him in a ball, in the middle of his bed. He was sobbing and shaking. He couldn't speak. His eyes were glazed over. He was not on planet Earth. I called my mom, who is an R.N.. I told her about his symptoms, and that I thought he was having a silent seizure. She came right over.

 Long, terrifying story short:

We took him to Children's Hospital.

He was burning up. It was confirmed that he indeed had a febrile seizure. It was due to his sudden spike in body temperature, and they ordered further testing to be done on another day. You see, Tate has Tourette's, and that can complicate things. Better safe than sorry.

They kept him for half of the day, making sure that his temp was down to an acceptable level before we left. That was a long night. We both slept on the recliner/couch. But he made it through like a champ! I'd say that was enough manic for one Monday. 

(A HUGE "thank you," to all of our friends and family who prayed for our little guy!)

(Act 4: Scene: The Payton House, Today, November 8, 2011)

Final Scene.

It was so pretty this morning...

...that I almost forgot...

...I was still siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

Um, wait...

...let me turn up the "hotness" meter:

Yeah, that's better.

(Sorry, guys, I'm taken.)

Juuussssst waitin' on my strep test...

It was negative, but my doc seemed to think that was because I waited NINE days to get tested.

Silly me.

"Yessss, sir! I will take the meds! No problemo!"

On the way home from the doc's, I hatched a plan. It was brilliant. It was fool-proof.

Well, the word "fool" did sum it up perfectly:

"Nap time."

He looks sleepy, right?

Any minute now...

Crud. 

Not gonna happen.

THE END

*Please dispose of all popcorn containers, candy boxes, and drinks into the trash receptacles. 3D glasses are to be deposited in the recycle bin. Thank you for choosing Payton Theaters.*

So, that was my week. How was yours?

P.S. I hope to return to my usual blogging schedule by next week. But then, we all know what happens when I make plans. ;)

Cheering you on & checking the fuel gauge,

Layla

P.P.S. I CANNOT bring myself to leave on such a negative/sarcastic note (though sarcasm is one of my drugs of choice). Let me just say what an AWESOME God my family serves! This is our second child to have suffered a seizure. This is the second time God amazed us with His love and care in this specific way. It continues to amaze me at how He so faithfully provides me with a manna trail to follow. I may not always get a loaf of manna, but there are always enough crumbs in life's trail to sustain me. He truly is the Bread of Life. It's in these especially difficult days that I realize how fragile I am, and how POWERFUL He is.

Where's the Cream Filling?

Hey, friends!

I just wanted to pop in and let you know how much I have missed blogging these past few days. It's fun to share my life with all of you, and I love hearing your feedback. I appreciate my blogging buddies. You make me smile. :)

I haven't been feeling well, as chronic illness tends to have its ups & downs. Autumn is always a "down" time for me, so I am going to take the rest of the week off of blogging to get a little rest. Schooling will continue. I love the way that school keeps my family in a routine, and spending that time with my kids is good food for the heart and soul. It takes all of my energy sometimes, but it is SO worth it!!! God always provides. He is so good, and I am blessed beyond measure. I figure, sick or not, as long as I can still home school...

...I am living the DREAM.

(Baking brownies for the Jesus House)

(Crayola/melting craft)

(Sketching)

No matter how icky my body may feel, I know that I still live the "cream filling" sort of life. Sure, there are times when I am tasting/experiencing a stale Twinkie kinda day (or month), but there is always cream filling. And boy, who doesn't like cream filling?

Smiles.

Giggles.

Days at the park.

Shared moments.

Snuggle/Story time.

Those are just a few of the ingredients that make up the "cream filling" of life.

I invite you, my dear blogging buddies, to meet a sweet friend of mine. Her name is Elizabeth. She is so great about finding the cream filling, during the stale Twinkie moments of life. Despite her ups and downs, she unceasingly reaches out to those who are struggling, or in need. The poor thing even had to take me in once. (That is a whole other story in itself!) Elizabeth offers ways for us to pitch in and help too! Easy, fun, and cute ways.

She is very talented & artsy craftsy.

Here are a couple of things that she has made for me (Aren't they great?):

(Personalized Bible Verse Book)

(Personalized Bookmark)

Anyhoo, please check out her site to see all of the fantastic things she makes. Buy yourself a lil' something, or put some things back for stocking stuffers, and...

smile...

...because when you purchase something from Elizabeth...

...it brings a little "cream filling" into someone else's life.

(By the way, helping others is a big part of the cream filling recipe.)

See ya next week!

Cheering you on & checking the fuel gauge,

Layla