The ABCs of Starting, and Finishing, the Perfect Home School Day

5:30 A.M.

Wake up. Wash face with homemade soap. Apply 100% organic make-up (you will not feel fully awake without it). Curl or straighten hair. Spritz on floral body spray, and wear something attractive, yet prudent. Heels make a nice, professional "clicking" sound across the tile.

6:00 A.M.

Greet your husband with a steaming hot cup of coffee, a slice of homemade bread, spread lovingly with butter (made the day before), and jam (always canned fresh on Sundays). If possible, have the table fully set the night before.

6:30 A.M.

Wake the children. Play soft hymns, and command an orderly routine of getting dressed and cleaning rooms.

6:45 A.M.

Have breakfast ready for the children. Make sure they set the table, and sing songs, while holding hands. This will create an atmosphere of unity and calm. Between bites of homemade bread, recite the times tables; backwards. It is good to feed the stomach and the mind at the same time. Never, under any circumstance, allow cartoons to be viewed. If the urge to watch a cartoon is strong, have the children hold hands and sing songs.


7:30 A.M.

Each child should be standing at attention, by their own desks, at this point. Salute the flag and sing: "The Star Spangled Banner."

7:35 - 10:30 A.M.

Math, English, Spelling, and History should be taught during this time. 

 Always have an individual craft for each child at the ready.

10:30 - 10:45 A.M.

Light snack: Have the children gather vegetables from the garden. Carving vegetables into animal shapes is a favorite pastime. The more intricate the designs, the more hand/eye coordination is being developed.

11:00 - 12:00 P.M.

Science and Geography lessons should be followed by foreign language lessons (Latin, Greek, and Spanish). Toddlers should be limited to only one foreign language.

12:00 - 12:30 P.M.

Lunch: Milk cows. Gather honey from bee hives. Use food processor to make peanut butter. Mix with honey and spread on homemade bread. Serve Peanut Butter and Honey Sandwiches with the fresh milk. Administer vitamins.


12:30 - 12:35 P.M.

Pick fresh flowers for the dinner table. Iron table cloth.

12:35 - 2:00 P.M.

Piano lessons (Classics only. Use metronome.)


2:00 -2:30 P.M.

Finish school and grade all papers. Neatly file papers in individual folders. Each child should add a piece to their "365 Days of Me" timeline.

2:30 - 3:00 P.M.

Children should play outside, creating new games, while holding hands, and singing gleefully. Don't forget to open your windows. You don't want to miss the beautiful harmony of children singing in perfect unity.

3:00 - 4:30 P.M.

Begin preparing dinner: Pick vegetables from garden, start homemade rolls, and braise a roast. Roll out three pie crusts. While crusts are chilling, pick apples from the orchard and prepare pie filling. Don't forget to milk the goats. Properly chill the milk for dinner.

Remind children to gather eggs for tomorrow's breakfast.

4:30 P.M.

Take shower and reapply make-up. Freshen hair. If you are feeling tired, breathe deeply, and hum to yourself. This will help calm and bring you to a place of perfect peace.


5:00 P.M.

Greet husband with a glass of fresh juice, a quick kiss, and a delightful tale of wit.

The school day is officially over when your husband is home. The rest of your day should include: Ironing tomorrow's clothing, a two hour devotional with the family, and tucking the children in by 7:30. Anything less is stating that you are not taking your job seriously, or giving it your all. Always, always remember: "Cleanliness is next to godliness." 

Never go to bed with an untidy house.

Okay, okay. So there is a bit of sarcasm here. After ten years of home schooling, I have heard it all. I was home schooled myself, so I have REALLY heard it all. While we may chuckle at the above schedule, I bet most of us have fallen under some type of ridiculous home school pressure at one point or another. While I took a few creative liberties, much of what I just posted was actually something I picked up from home school resources along the way. I was taught, in a home school class, that make-up would make me feel "more awake." I don't know, maybe her eyeshadow was caffeinated, but I don't see how that works better than 15 minutes of extra sleep.
Perhaps you have a friend who claims to follow the above schedule. If true, please follow her blog. Clearly, she has it together more than I do.

If you are more like me, your day might look like this:

I don't do ironing...unless there is a funeral, or we are being filmed for a home school T.V. segment.

This blog is for moms who are tired of the guilt, pressure, and judgment of not always being the "perfect" homemakers. Some days, we just want to be home! This is home schooling with a flat tire, and the "Check Engine" light on.

Cheering you on & checking the the fuel gauge,

Layla

John 17:15
"I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one."



Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."