Manic Monday/My Schedule (You Asked & I Answered)

Many of you asked about my home school schedule. Perhaps some of you are hoping that I will finally solve your organizational woes, or enlighten you with secrets to perky morning devotionals. 

So not gonna happen.

I do hope that you will find some ways to catch your breath and relax.

Oh, yes, I did strive to find the Holy Grail of home school schedules. I have been home schooling for ten years, so you'd figure I would have it all sorted out by now. In typical first-born-birth-order fashion, I crave details, perfection, predictability, and all of my fluffy ducklings in a row. I like things to start on time. I adore neat handwriting. I fancy schedules with rigid lines and monthly updates. I get twitterpated at the sight of labeled notebooks standing at attention. I like straight As. Before we even started school, I had visions of our kids learning the same poems at the same age...because...well...that was going to be our tradition. Why stop because one didn't like it as much as the other? I mean, that would totally screw up the dream. You know, the dream that I dreamed when our kids were still in diapers? How they'd learn all of my favorite stories and verses by heart.  We'd bake every Little House on the Prairie recipe, of course. We'd read all of those Little House books three times over...because I have three kids...and that makes total sense. We'd follow every jot and tittle that was provided in the textbooks' itineraries, never missing a single science experiment. 

Flash cards,

flash cards,

flash cards!

There would be an ongoing "grocery" list of school items that would be continually updated. After all, the Sun might collide with Earth if these things didn't happen on time, in order, and to the best of our (my) over achieving ability. I used to host HUGE open houses just to allow the kids a time to bask in their scholastic achievements. You know, invite the friends and family over for some hard core displays of home school awesomeness! (Which is fine, don't get me wrong. Kids should have times in their lives when they get to shine.). But let's get real. It was also about how awesome their mom was at teaching them (I was constantly trying to prove myself). If they failed, that meant that I too had failed, which would lead to my "getting it" from certain people in my life. Maybe not to my face...but...well...

I digress.

 (So much for keeping God at the center of our school.)

So here's the part where I tell you that I gave up. It took most of those ten years for me to do it, but it has made our lives so much more enjoyable. I am still new at giving up, so I am continually learning new ways of "quitting."

Yep,

I'm a quitter.

You wanna be a quitter too?

At this point, I am going to assume that you've answered, "Yes." Otherwise, you've already stopped following this crazy chick. So let's get started...

My school schedule? Well, I will present you with a rough draft. I gave up on using ink to fill in our daily planner's lines, and we no longer set alarm clocks. So this may not work for you. It works for us. (My Father's World has a pre-made schedule. I copy it and pencil in what I want to add or subtract. It totally rocks my socks!)

1. Allow the kids to wake up when their bodies are ready. This has helped to lengthen their attention spans, curb the grumpies, and greatly diminishes Tate's tics (he has Tourette's). In my opinion, Americans don't allow their kids enough sleep. Children's brains need more rest than adults. Their bodies are growing at break-neck speeds. Nothing bad will happen if they sleep until 9 a.m. (Or 10 a.m. if they are really going through a growth spurt.) How will you know if they are being lazy, as opposed to sleeping in because their bodies hit the overdrive button? Well, look at their jeans. Are your guys wearing man capris? Are your girls eating two extra large pizzas for a snack? There's your sign. Let 'em sleep in. (I plan on introducing an alarm clock to my oldest as soon as I know he is almost ready for vocational school. This will allow him time to adjust to the real world.)

2. I am not a morning person, so devotional time comes after breakfast, and sometimes after the first subject is finished. I'd like to say this happens in a group setting every single day, but it doesn't. Some days are just flat insane. When insanity happens, I let the kids go with whatever Bible lesson the curriculum wrote into the plans. They might read it to themselves, or I might read it to them individually throughout the day. My favorite devotional times are usually the ones in a group setting, but that's not every day realistic for us. In the past, I have felt like a total loser if I missed even one planned group study, so I had to let that go. Pressure should never be the drive behind devotionals. If a rigid devotional time makes me feel like a successful parent, I am in dangerous territory. Also, I believe that it is valuable for a child to have opportunities to discover God's truths on their own. The Holy Spirit is far more capable of handling this task than I. Please continue family devotionals, just don't make them happen for the sole purpose of feeling good about yourself, or because you scheduled them. God isn't interested in your (my) schedule, He wants you (us) to follow His schedule. Trust me, His daily planner is far more organized and spontaneous. (*Note* Pray about this. God may tell you to do something entirely different for your family. Things are apt to change for me/us at any moment. Life plays out in seasons.)

3. We do all of our subjects every day, aside from Fridays (Easy Day). Sometimes we move Easy Day to another day of the week. It just depends on what comes along to make things...interesting. If we don't cover everything that needs to be covered during the school week, we throw it onto Saturday. Occasionally, we do it on Sunday. We go with the flow. If I feel that too much was written into the curriculum, I toss it out. Throwing things out used to send me into hyperventilation mode. I'm (almost) cured. Here's how I found relief: I flicked away the annoying voice that kept whispering into my ear, "But what will So & So think if your kid can't say their ABCs backward, while playing Vivaldi on the harp, as they sketch family portraits with their toes?" (That "voice" left a scar, so I still battle flair-ups.) Here is the reality: Nobody really cares if your kid can do all of that stuff, because it's all a competition anyhoo. Stop competing in the competition.

Give up. 

You'll breathe easier.

4. We eat lunch sometime between 11:30 and 1:00 p.m. It just depends on when we are hungry.

5. Sometimes we play music during school. Sometimes we take a recess. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes we finish school before lunch. Sometimes we finish school before bed. Most days we finish around 3:30. Keep in mind that we usually wake up late, so we could finish earlier if we wanted to. Occasionally, we have an appointment. On those days, we set an alarm and work the appointment into our day. No biggie. That's one reason why we home school: Wiggle room. 

6. We clean house when it fits into that day's schedule. I do prefer starting the day with a clean house, but sometimes that doesn't happen. Life goes on.

7. Sometimes we wear PJs until Dad gets home. This is awesome. It's not all of the time, so it feels pretty rebellious and comfy when we indulge. We have lots of spontaneous tea times. Sometimes we interrupt math to stand at the back door with binoculars to gaze at birds. Sometimes we eat string cheese and discuss totally random topics that lead to science lessons I would have never thought up on my own (thanks to my trivia savvy teen, who is up on all of the latest news). That's how I found out about the ORION spacecraft exhibit. Yes, subjects must be completed, chores must be done, and everything should be worked out to the best of each child's ability...but...

leave space in your day for randomness.

*Note* Every child is different. Your schedule will not look like mine. One of my sons has Asperger's. He does have a set pattern to his day, because that keeps his stress level down. I try my best to allow him to do his subjects in the same order every day. Sometimes, he requests to do a subject out of sequence. This is a GOOD thing. It shows that he can overcome his OCD tendencies by "drawing outside of the lines." My oldest son is in 9th grade, so he is basically doing everything on his own. I help him check through his work, and then we go over what he needs help with. Here's the good news: High school equals LOW MAINTENANCE. My youngest is more than okay with flying by the seat of his pants. I don't think that any day has ever been the same for him. He has Tourette's and ADHD, so we just (again) go with the flow. There are days that I spend most of my time trying to get him to just sit down. (He studies best before lunch.)

Have I completely freaked you out?

If so, that's okay. Past Me is freaked out too. Current Controlling Me is still trying to learn how to let go and let God totally have my mess...er, life. It's been a long journey of learning that what I initially thought would create the perfect home school schedule/life/experience was Not. Even. Close. It was stressful, prideful, and ridiculous. It was also (on many levels) outside of what I think God would have chosen for us. I am working through a lot of things, and would like to share some of them with you soon. Until then,

 My advice: 

Let God define your schedule.

Not a book.

Not a planner.

Not a curriculum.

Not a friend, or family member.

(But make sure that you are doing everything that your state requires of you to home school legally.)

KEEP RECORDS.

Don't keep ridiculous expectations.

Cheering you on & checking the fuel gauge,

Layla

P.S. Because things change, I may rewrite this whole post in a few months. Go with the flow. ;)